Archive for video games

Intendo

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on 06/17/2011 by Tim

What do you get when you take off the last letter?

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#129: Best Seller

Posted in Story Every Day with tags , on 11/21/2010 by Tim

For my birthday Amanda gave me a new video game. We’d been short on money for so long that we’d played through everything we had at least twice and the sight of new plastic wrap and fresh cover art sent shocks through my chest. Best Seller, the cover said, and I said, “What is this?”

There was a special controller, a plastic typewriter, light enough to hold on your lap, but I set it up on the coffee table so I could pretend. Onscreen a lamp burned on a desktop and pages rested blank and little flashes of “inspiration” lit up and you were supposed to knock words out in certain rhythms, in certain lengths. My first few attempts were terrible, and ended with my character pulling deep on a whiskey bottle and falling onto the floor, but by the time Amanda went to bed I had the rhythm down and I’d finish a page and my character would thrust the page into the air. Around the time I should really have been going to bed my character earned the 1000th comment on his blog and his first book sold out its second printing and his 20th short piece landed in a magazine, and I thought, Wow, wow. I hadn’t written anything real all day but things onscreen were so much more productive and successful than things off that it seemed foolish to even think of shutting down the game console.

#83: The Pervy Elf on Your Inner Thighs

Posted in Story Every Day with tags , , on 10/06/2010 by Tim

Mina didn’t mind me playing video games in theory but she did mind how much I played them sometimes and she hated this one video game in particular where you play as a small green man who travels through the city rolling benches and snow cones and people into balls. She called the small green man “the pervy elf” because of how his hands look and said things like “time for pervy elf rolling” and “back to the elf, I see” but then over one long weekend when she wanted to watch a film with subtitles and I didn’t her true rage showed itself and she unplugged the machine just as the collection of goods I’d rolled together reached the six-meter mark.

I’m going to tell everyone you secretly love this game, I said, but she said, Nobody will believe you. Okay, I said. Later I emailed every one of her friends and coworkers and family members whose email I had access to.

Mina is embarrassed about this, but in case you see her walking funny I want you to know it’s not because she’s taken up horseback riding or yoga. In fact she got the image of a video game character tattooed on her inner thighs. She calls the character “the pervy elf” and he is very dear to her.

I thought of staying quiet about the email until her coworkers asked her about the elf, but then I thought, maybe they’ll all just laugh to themselves and not say a thing. She did work with very polite people So I told her.

That’s insane, she said. Why would you do that? Seriously? Nobody will believe that. They’ll just think you’re insane. And I’m insane to date you.

You can’t prove it’s wrong, though.

I can show them my inner thighs, she said.

That would be socially awkward, I said, but now I’m left wondering: will she do it? Should I send another email? Sometimes it’s hard to determine an appropriate course of action.